The Endless Dull

Fall has come to my little corner of the world. With it, it's brought the gloomy dull of a dead autumn. The leaves were only beginning to transform into fiery glimmers of golden ochre when a sudden rainstorm left the trees empty of all but a few straggling survivors.

It's also brought a lifeless shade of dull to my days. There is little to capture my interest, and the endless hours seem to drag by, pulling me with them into silent solemnity.

My only thought to remedy all this is to focus on the things I have done lately. So I'll share them on here.

My cousin is a flight attendant in Dubai. He gets a month off, so he's coming to live here. I gave him my room. I moved a bed into the attic. Which is fine. It's like a little piece of the world all to myself. Not that my room wasn't, but I guess it's just different. He's great though. He's originally from Australia, and I had never met him until last night, but he has the best accent. The four-hour drive home from the airport was entertaining to say the least. Anyway, he's still adjusting to the fact that it's 11 hours in the past here compared to Dubai, so he's been sleeping all day so far. I can't imagine time traveling like that. I'd probably sleep an entire week.

I've felt very far from everybody lately. I suppose that's normal, but it still makes me feel strange. As far as friends go, one's busy with school, another gone for 3 weeks to Canada, another just hasn't spoken to me much. Somehow I think he's mad at me, but I wouldn't know since we haven't talked. I guess I should just move on because 'I have better things to do' but to be honest, I really don't have better things to do. Except study, but I do that anyway. I don't know. I suppose you could just say I'm lonely.

I also made a YouTube account. I bought a new digital video camera last night. I intend to make video blogs. I do not, however, intend to show them to you. If you get bored enough, you'll find them and you'll recognize my channel by the colors and description, as they match my page here. It should be interesting to say the least. I'll probably get alot of rude comments as is the norm with that silly website, but I don't really care what they say.

So that's my life. Talking about it actually does seem to make it seem a bit more lively. Maybe it's just me who feels so dead...

Here's to Peace, Love, & Fall
~Lola

Recovery

So today I woke up around 6:00. I had an 8:00 appointment. To get all my wisdom teeth removed. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything past midnight last night, which may sound simple to most people, but I'm hypoglycemic, so without sugar in my blood, I could potentially throw up, pass out, or go into a lethargic state. So I was up most of last night worrying, imagining the worst case scenarios that could occur on the hour drive to the oral surgeon. The rest of last night was spent dreaming those scenarios through with the ever present help of the Pevensie children, the Chinese mafia, and Matt Hoopes. My dreams are always like that though.

Anyway, all my worries were for nothing. I didn't pass out on the way there, I didn't die of thirst, and the Chinese mafia did not shoot a hole through the back windshield.

At the dentist, things went okay. I very calmly allowed them to put oxygen through my nose, I barely squinted when they started my IV. I smiled politely when they had to remove it and start it again. After they put me under the influence of the anesthetic, I don't remember much. Somewhere the corner of my consciousness was aware that they were talking. I could hear the conversation. One of the assistants was going to a concert with her daughter next Friday. The other assistant said I had some of the longest eyelashes she'd ever seen. The Doctor reminisced about his days on the cheer squad at high school when someone brought up the school color change taking place next year.

The next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room, mouth stuffed full of gauze. I couldn't swallow - that scared me. One of the assistants helped change the gauze a few different times before I was released and free to go home. Due to the fact I was still under the influence of the anesthetic, my mom drove me home. On the way I got a milkshake from Wendy's but I spilled most of it since I couldn't feel anything.

The nurse said the medication I'm on has a few psychological side effects. It's good to know the fact that I keep bursting into tears for no reason at least has some explanation. The numbness is wearing off, and now all that's left senseless is a bit of the left side of my mouth. My mouth still tastes like blood, and I'm told that it will continue to bleed off and on for the next two days.

I'm recovering though. I have knitting to keep me busy, I have Relient K to listen to, and I have my friends to type to when it hurts to talk. I'll be okay. Recovering might be a bit long, but once it's done, I'll be back to my normal everyday life where the biggest adventure is choir practice on Sundays.

Here's to Peace, Love, & Recovery
~Lola

The Post With No Clever Name

I can't think of a title to fit today's post. Not one that's been done before.

Lately I've not quite been myself. Not because of being sick or anything. More because of certain situations. It seems anymore life is just falling into pitfall after pitfall for me. The latest one I can't seem to get out of. I feel like it's pulling me away to becoming someone else that I don't want to be. It's been bringing me down emotionally for sure, but even physically - I can hardly sleep at night because it's been invading my dreams. I've been a bit of a wreck until yesterday.

Last night I got to talk to PJ/ for a few hours. He's one of those friends you know you're blessed to have - the ones who inspire you to be a better person. We stayed up half the night on MSN like we always used to. For a while, everything was how it always was. After we said goodnight around 3 in the morning, I lay awake thinking for a while.

I'm sick of lying. Sick of feeling nervous. Sick of all the drama.
So I've made up my mind that I'm not going back to it all this time. I want to be the way I used to be a year ago where nothing could ever bring me down and I didn't have any cares. And so far today, it's gone pretty well I'd say.

Forget And Not Slow Down came in the mail the other day. I'll post a review for you guys in a few days.

Here's To Peace, Love, & Escaping
~Lola

If You Were A Beautiful Sound In The Echoes All Around, Then I'd Be Your Harmony <3

So, today I've decided to blog again. Mostly about Owl City.

The 23 year old's music has stolen my heart and the top 5 most played songs on my Zune. Well, no, first is still So Simple by Stacie Oricco, and I still don't know how that's possible. But, anyway, Owl City is my new obsession and I've added Adam Young (Owl City's super-shy real-life alter ego) to the list of the stalked with John Warne and Matt Thiessen (and to a lesser extent, James Marsden). Anyway, all the sugar-sweet technopop music's gotten to my head, and in my head, therefore I have created a little piano video to his song "Vanilla Twilight". If anybody comments on this asking for it, I'll gladly send you the video. I don't feel like posting it simply because it's too personal. From it, you would discover that my favorite hoodie is orange, I have really small hands, I wear dark nail polish, and my hair is brown. And the fact that I have a piano at my house. And that I can't play the piano worth a penny.

In other news...there isn't really any other news. Life's just going at it's normal pace. Christmas will soon be here. I'd better start shopping. Black Friday may be the start for some people, but I prefer it to be my deadline. It's already 43 outside during the day. Perfect weather for fingerless gloves.

Forget And Not Slow Down has shipped as of yesterday morning. I can't wait for the moment of joyous rapture as I tear open the cellophane wrapping. It will be glorious. I got the poster pre-order option. With my name on it. That should be nice to hang up somewhere prominent.

Well, I'd better get back to my somewhat boring day.

Here's To Peace, Love, & Citrus Constellations
~Lola