Finally Getting Back

It's been over a week since I got back from Wyoming, and I haven't really been the same since the trip. But today, I think I'm finally getting back to my old routines. FiveScore and Seven Years Ago is back on shuffle, I actually woke up instead of sleeping until 9:00, I feel like maybe I'm alive again instead of just making it from morning to night. Funny, I finally get back into routine the day before I leave again. But this trip won't change me. Much. If it does, I'll just come back even more of a fangirl, which isn't all too bad. For me.

I looked back this morning and wondered what exactly brought about the sudden change back. I didn't look for long until I found the reason. For about a week before my trip (until apparently a week after) I've been spending the last five minutes of each day praying. My prayers usually included a request for forgiveness, thanking God for my family and my friends, and then I'd drift off to dreams. Last night I stopped and realized just how far away from God that really had made me. So last night I did something different. I spent over thirty minutes in prayer as opposed to five. And today, I finally feel alive again.

If you've been following my logic, you may come to the conclusion that prayer is what makes me a fangirl. That's not exactly the direction I was trying to go with this. I think what I'm trying to say by all this is that when I'm closer to God, I'm closer to being myself. I'm closer to being a happy, somewhat cynical, but mostly happy individual.

So anyone out there who's just not quite feeling like yourself, maybe all you need is some extra time alone with God. Who knows, the next day you could wake up more alive too!

Here's to Peace, Love & Getting Back,

~Lola

Gardening

"If friends were flowers, I'd pick you."

An anonymous person said that. It's a cute phrase. But the problem with friends is that sometimes you don't quite know what you're picking.

Some people are like wildflowers - you pick them and the next day they're dead. Now you're friends won't be dead the day after you meet them (I seriously hope) but soon they'll simply lose interest in you and move on to the next new person.

Some people are like dandelions - they're nice for a while, but when the wind blows, they'll be gone leaving you to go through the hard times on your own.

Some people are like thistles - they'll be your friend, but rest assured you'll never be able to be very close with them. They intend to keep everyone at a distance, whether or not they're aware of it.

Some people are like roses - they may seem wonderful, but they'll hurt you without a backward glance. Because they were such good friends before, many times you may try again, but every time without fail, you'll be caught on a thorn.

The flower garden may sound like a scary place to have to pick from, but there's one breed of flower to look for - the daisies. They're not all that rare, but quite often unnoticed. They may not look like much at first glance, but they're the best friends you can find. They'll stick with you when the going gets rough and they'll last alot longer than other types of friends.

So be careful not to overlook the daisies - they tend to make the most beautiful bouquets!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm guessing you're probably wondering what this blog post has to actually do with my blog. Fact is, it really has nothing to do with it. I found this whole thing typed up in Microsoft Word from a few months ago and felt like posting it up here. I guess there's really nothing better I could've posted today since there's really nothing interesting going on in my life. Just working on my sewing project. Off and on I've been practicing my piano, but the only thing coming to mind to play is "Fuzzy Blue Lights" and it's already stuck deep enough in my head so it's the last thing I want to play. I'd find something fun about Relient K to ramble about on here, but lately I've just not been that into them for some reason, so that's not an option. So that's why I chose gardening. Maybe it helped someone; maybe it didn't; maybe I'm just a bit out of it today.

Here's to Peace, Love & Flowers
~Lola

Oh, Home On The Range!

So my trip is over and done. So very happy, so very sad, and at the same time, very lost in the middle of a rushing world.

I'm happy to be back in touch with my Twitter (and blog and FaceBook and best friend and Relient K forums), happy to be reunited with Zunii, and so happy to see a flushing toilet that I could literally cry.

I'm sad to have left so soon, because I know that I will most likely not see many of my family members who I hadn't seen for years now, for even more years to come. This morning was full of teary goodbyes and hugs that refused to let go. Even from the teenage boys of the family. We all promised to play Farm Town on FaceBook, though, so I think we'll survive the years. If my farm animals survive my virtual gaming skills.

I'm also lost - so lost. I thought I had alot of my life figured out. I thought I knew exactly where I wanted to live, what I wanted to do, and who my role models were; being out in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but think changed a few things. I think. The first thing that struck me that I didn't expect was the change in my cousins. I remember days when we would throw silly pool parties in their backyard and listen to country music at unsafe levels when our parents were out to dinner. Since then their family has crumbled and now I can't even see anything I once knew in any of them. At first I thought it was sad but now I'm not so sure it isn't a good thing... The next few uncertainties are still just that - uncertain. I'll probably get back around to those at a time when I'm running on more than 3 hours of sleep.

I will now proceed to create a mini blog post for the trip. I'll go day - by - day and try to explain things.

Day 1 - The Kelley House

Day one was mostly driving. Fun in one of those "I'm probably going to die if I have to hear this Beyonce song again" ways. I have never been more thankful for my headphones and more sorry to not have brought along Zunii.
The trip took most of the day and once we arrived at the house of my mom's sister, all I wanted was to sleep. Unfortunately, she is a dedicated video game fanatic, so instead I played Super Smash Brothers Melee with her for a few hours. I'll admit it was fun, but I was more than ready when she told me to get some sleep.

Day 2 - Strawberry Hill

Day two was Independence Day. We began the day riding on a float for a local karate school. I should probably back up and say that my 8 cousins from Texas showed up with their parents at 4 that morning. I was too unconscious to wake up, but then again, they were asleep within 5 minutes since their drive was 20 hours. Anyway, we all rode the float, even though none of us 1] live there or 2] do karate. It was fun I suppose. Afterwards we made the 2 hour trek to Strawberry Hill, the ranch owned by my grandparents.

And so the fun began.

All the females in the family were required to unload the two trailer-campers and motor home full of food. All the males were sent to retrieve the two port-a-potties (I feel like I'm 2 when I say that) that we would use for the days to come.

There were charcoal pits dug, tents set up (ours was an authentic Civil War tent. with no floor.), and cell phone batteries dying looking for service. It was a fun day filled with catching up with now-grown-up cousins and planning the following week. There was a strange lack of pyrotechnics, but I didn't really care all too much.

Day 3 and 4 - Rain

Who knew it rained so much in Wyoming? You would've thought we were in Washington state or something. It poured the entire third afternoon dashing our team's hopes in the cast-iron-cookoff. I suppose I should mention that part of things. The two of my mom's siblings living in Texas teamed up against my mom and her sister (who is from Wyoming) to make two cast-iron meals - breakfast and dinner. South made breakfast that day, but North's dinner was canceled due to rain. Not too fun, but it was alright I guess.

Day four was frightening. My mom and her sister went into town to feed her goats and chickens, and ended up taking the entire day due to tornado watches. Do you know how frightening it is to be told there's a tornado watch coming your way and all you have to hide in are port-a-potties and RV campers? It rained the entire day, and that night no word came from my mom or her sister. Being a firmly God-grounded family, all of us still at the ranch joined hands and sang hymns (and Christmas carols..haha) under the food tent. I cried. My cousin Savannah cried. Pretty much all the women there cried. But we continued to sing for three hours until the storm subsided and the two sisters returned from their day-trip. Looking back at the entire week, that night was the best night I think I had.

Day 5 and 6 - We Like The Flavor of Hay

The last two official days of the trip were spent doing the task we even went to Wyoming for - haying. My grandparents have three horses so they made 1200 bales of hay for them. How's that for logic? Anyway, you might think "oh, haying. yeah, you pick up the little bales and put them on the trailer". At least that's what I thought. I guess I was standing too far away from the 'little bales' - each one weighs from 75 - 125 pounds. Needless to say my arms hurt. And my legs. And my hands. And pretty much everything else. I also got a second-degree sunburn on my nose. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Day five, North made breakfast and it went over almost as well as the South's. Seeing as how 70% of the voters were on the South team, it seems a bit biased, but nobody cared about the prizes - just the fun of the competition. South made supper and it was probably the most delicious Mexican food I've ever had. My mom's brother-in-law is half-Mexican so he knew all these awesome recipes so they picked enchilada lasagna. I still need to ask him for that recipe...

Day six North made supper. It took too long, so we ate it at 11 PM. It was baked radiatore and focaccia bread. We even played Dean Martin through the car stereo to add the ambiance. And still, we lost by 3 points...(365 to 368 isn't bad though, I'd say). In a complete state of awesomeness, the South defaulted and gave us the prize, which was $100 per cook. I knew I should've helped instead of going for a walk...

Day six's night was spent wonderfully. My brother, Savannah, her sister Charity, and I played Mexican Train dominoes for hours after everybody else went to bed. After that Charity retired to the awful little tent and the three of us spent even more hours talking. We stayed awake until dawn and then spray-painted eachothers' hair pink and lime green. And then everybody else woke up and we had the aforementioned teary goodbye.

And on Day seven, we came home.

If you read that, you have way to much time on your hands, but thank you for caring enough to read it. I should probably sleep. Since I only got any sleep in the car today. I'll blog again soon.

Here's to Peace, Love & Multi-Colored Hairspray
~ Lola

So This Is The Game Plan, Folks

Not much to say today, but I do have a few things that have transpired since the last update. I'll put them in a list.
- Relient K sang a new song at a concert. Forget And Not Slow Down. It's amazing.
- I was assigned to teach Sunday School for the summer
- Michael Jackson died
- I've finished the top of my dress

Now that I've caught you up, I'll get you a step ahead.

This next weekend I'm off to Wyoming for a week. A whole week. No internet, no Zune, just my cell phone. I'll be able to check my Twitter (/relientkfanatic), so if any of you feel the need to keep up with me or contact me while I'm gone, go ahead and use that.

The reason I'm saying all this even though I'll still be here for 7 days is that I have to finish my dress's skirt before the trip. Entirely. That alone will take up the entire day, let alone packing and working on my Sunday School lesson plans. So I probably will not be able to blog again until I get back. Not to worry, I'll tell you everything about the trip that's worth telling.

So that's the game plan for the next few days. After this the only big thing for the summer is Ignite which is the 18th-19th. I'll have much more news about that than I will about Wyoming. But I'll talk to you when I get back I suppose.

Here's to Peace, Love & Busy Days
~ Lola

P.S. Today's John Warne's birthday. He doesn't read my blog. But that's okay.
Happy Birthday, John Warne!! You rock!!

The Goldfish Technique

I went to the doctor's office recently. In the waiting room they had one of those big aquariums with two goldfish and some of those scarily strange white frogs in it. Their little red eyes glow and they look dead until they move...

But anyway, this isn't about the unnatural amphibians. This is about the goldfish. Did you ever notice how they're constantly opening and closing their mouths even when they aren't moving anywhere? It makes them look as if they're perpetually at a loss for words. They look silly as they stare at you, mouths opening in a timed pattern. But they're alive, aren't they? Unless they opened their mouths to inhale water, they wouldn't be able to get oxygen through their gills. I have a theory that many of the goldfish who end up floating above the water were only trying to be cooler than the rest.

Sometimes I think we're like that. We don't want to be any different or look silly in front of anybody; we end up dragging ourselves through a boring day-to-day existence - dead to what's known as really living. We need to breathe constantly, no matter how retarded we look while we do it. We need to do the unexpected, make life interesting, wake up the adventure that's asleep in all of us. That way we'll stay alive - really alive.

I believe the nurse thought I was rather insane as I was thinking all of this, smiling widely at the small fish across the glass. But now you know what goes through my mind in the doctor's waiting room.

Of course, all of this is highly suspect. The reason the goldfish die could be because the undead frogs sucked out their life juices while they slept.

Here's To Peace, Love & Aquariums
~ Lola

It's Like Letting Go Against My Will...

I woke up today wishing I was someone else. Someone with sandy blond hair and eyes that waver between brownish-gray and blue. Someone who talks with an accent and a different sense of humor. Someone who is my best friend's best friend.

For the past few month I've slowly watched my best friend be stolen away by this person. I've never personally talked to them and I'm sure s/he's very nice and isn't intentionally doing this, but it's happening none the less.

What used to be a promise of "best friends for life" has deteriorated to sharing the leftover time when I'm the only person still around. I love my friend more than I can say, but it's slowly becoming clear that they don't exactly care. I guess that's what this all comes down to - I've never had anybody tell me that they care, that I'm their very best friend, that they'll always be there for me. I would give anything for someone like that who won't let me down...

Here's to Peace, Love & Trying To Sleep When The Pillow's Too Wet.
~ Lola

P.S. I recently discovered that more people read this blog than I thought (thanks, everybody). So, to my best friend who now reads this, I'm sorry if writing this hurt you. I'm sorry I'm so selfish. Please don't be mad, but it's the only way I know how to tell you what I feel.

Excuse Me, I'm Looking For the ITCZ...

I'm sitting here with a pen and paper, ready to post something witty and interesting. But today, I've found that I have nothing to say.

I believe it stems from having nothing to do. Intermission may be nice for a while, but it can easily lead to the Horse Latitudes. The Horse Latitudes are an oceanic latitude where winds may suddenly die for hours, days - even weeks. Spanish merchant ships would then be forced to throw their cargo of wild horses overboard to conserve water for the crew to stay alive until the winds picked up. Not a pleasant history, and not a pleasant place to be.

Unfortunately, I think that's where I am. For the past week, I honestly have done nothing at all. I was planning on breaking the cycle and doing something fun like tennis today, but yesterday I was diagnosed with asthma so going outside at this time of year just won't work. But I'm not going to stop trying! The ITCZ is somewhere around here and I'm determined to find it. Maybe sewing my dress is a start in the right direction...

Here's to Peace, Love & Spanish Merchant Ships.
~ Lola