The Endless Dull

Fall has come to my little corner of the world. With it, it's brought the gloomy dull of a dead autumn. The leaves were only beginning to transform into fiery glimmers of golden ochre when a sudden rainstorm left the trees empty of all but a few straggling survivors.

It's also brought a lifeless shade of dull to my days. There is little to capture my interest, and the endless hours seem to drag by, pulling me with them into silent solemnity.

My only thought to remedy all this is to focus on the things I have done lately. So I'll share them on here.

My cousin is a flight attendant in Dubai. He gets a month off, so he's coming to live here. I gave him my room. I moved a bed into the attic. Which is fine. It's like a little piece of the world all to myself. Not that my room wasn't, but I guess it's just different. He's great though. He's originally from Australia, and I had never met him until last night, but he has the best accent. The four-hour drive home from the airport was entertaining to say the least. Anyway, he's still adjusting to the fact that it's 11 hours in the past here compared to Dubai, so he's been sleeping all day so far. I can't imagine time traveling like that. I'd probably sleep an entire week.

I've felt very far from everybody lately. I suppose that's normal, but it still makes me feel strange. As far as friends go, one's busy with school, another gone for 3 weeks to Canada, another just hasn't spoken to me much. Somehow I think he's mad at me, but I wouldn't know since we haven't talked. I guess I should just move on because 'I have better things to do' but to be honest, I really don't have better things to do. Except study, but I do that anyway. I don't know. I suppose you could just say I'm lonely.

I also made a YouTube account. I bought a new digital video camera last night. I intend to make video blogs. I do not, however, intend to show them to you. If you get bored enough, you'll find them and you'll recognize my channel by the colors and description, as they match my page here. It should be interesting to say the least. I'll probably get alot of rude comments as is the norm with that silly website, but I don't really care what they say.

So that's my life. Talking about it actually does seem to make it seem a bit more lively. Maybe it's just me who feels so dead...

Here's to Peace, Love, & Fall
~Lola

The Post With No Clever Name

I can't think of a title to fit today's post. Not one that's been done before.

Lately I've not quite been myself. Not because of being sick or anything. More because of certain situations. It seems anymore life is just falling into pitfall after pitfall for me. The latest one I can't seem to get out of. I feel like it's pulling me away to becoming someone else that I don't want to be. It's been bringing me down emotionally for sure, but even physically - I can hardly sleep at night because it's been invading my dreams. I've been a bit of a wreck until yesterday.

Last night I got to talk to PJ/ for a few hours. He's one of those friends you know you're blessed to have - the ones who inspire you to be a better person. We stayed up half the night on MSN like we always used to. For a while, everything was how it always was. After we said goodnight around 3 in the morning, I lay awake thinking for a while.

I'm sick of lying. Sick of feeling nervous. Sick of all the drama.
So I've made up my mind that I'm not going back to it all this time. I want to be the way I used to be a year ago where nothing could ever bring me down and I didn't have any cares. And so far today, it's gone pretty well I'd say.

Forget And Not Slow Down came in the mail the other day. I'll post a review for you guys in a few days.

Here's To Peace, Love, & Escaping
~Lola

I'm Going To Make An Entire Post About Relient K

Come on, you know I can do it without even trying. But, I won't. I'll just share a little about Relient K and more about my life, since that's what blogs are supposed to be about, right?

So, today I reached a new level of happy. I called it Relient K Happy. Why? Cause it was brought about by this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PSQ6JALkZs

and the track list, and the "I Don't Need A Soul (To Hold)" lyrics. The world is such a happy place today. But, as promised, this post will not be all about Relient K.

See, I got the song from my friend Ike, who I hadn't heard from in over a year and a half. It was so unexpectedly pleasant to hear from him again, but it wasn't how I expected. See, I met him as "ikethespecial" on an Animal Crossing site. He and I talked about Relient K mostly, and he was probably one of my nicest friends on there. But then he left...
Well today I get followed on Twitter by "relientike" Suspicious? Quite. Being the person who always speaks her mind, I simply asked him flat-out if he was ikethespecial. He said he was, but (here's the surprising part) he only added me because my username has "relientk" in it. He doesn't even remember that we were ever friends! Not that he meant it rudely or anything, but it looks as if we'll be starting at ground zero in this friendship...

Speaking of friends, I lost one a few days ago. He was one of my best friends too. See, this is how it goes in my world. I have PJ/, who you all remember from the post I put out on his birthday. He's my random, funny, sweetheart of a friend who I consider closest. Then I have Rhett, who is older than me, and probably the smartest person I know. He's really accepting, a bit sarcastic, but totally the sort of friend everybody would want. And then there was Roux. He was...just like me. Everything I needed, he was there for. We laughed, we cried, we watched chick flicks and bashed boys when they broke our hearts...until two days ago. That was the day he left. Left for Nevada, told me we couldn't be friends anymore - swore it hurt him worse than it hurt me. I cried. Alot. But let's not go there. Why? Because, as Matt Thiessen puts it,

"The sun still burns the shadows out, and there's nothing to complain about now"

So, I'm going to take his other advice, and forget about all this and keep on going. Why, because I've got PJ/ and Rhett on one hand, and on the other I have my new friend who, for all practical purposes, has friendship amnesia. The world's still spinning, and Relient K's new CD comes out in 45 days.

That's alot to be happy about!

Here's to Peace, Love & Being Relient K Happy
~Lola

P.S. Did you notice Relient K was mentioned in each topic? I guess I failed at not making the entire post about Relient K. ha ha

I Guess I Really Should Update

Right? I mean it's been, what, 18 days? In blog-terms, that's pretty much a lifetime.
There's just not been anything interesting to blog about. So this is going to be really boring. I apologize.

- I pre-ordered TFK's new CD and so should you.
http://tfk.skyroo.com/se/view/music/index.html

- Jon Schneck has taken to Rubik's Cube-ing to pass the time since the paper toss tournament was ended by MatTy. New podcast of said cubing might make you laugh. It made me laugh for sure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zni7ovRgIxg

- I've taken up knitting. No, I'm not 80. It's actually sorta relaxing and maybe even fun. I'm working on a special Christmas present for my best friend. It should turn out pretty sweet if I can get it to him. That's the hard part. haha

- Speaking of friends, remember back to how my birthday was most likely the last time I'd see alot of my friends? For a while, I thought that might've been wrong. But it wasn't. I told my friends I wasn't going back to dance this year and even the one who knows me better than probably anyone else in real life won't speak to me anymore. I keep telling myself I don't care, but deep down I do, I just don't want to think about it.

- I got my hair cut. I have bangs now. But they need straightening since my perm experiment made them look somewhat ridiculous. But straightened they look pretty okay, I think. The rest of my hair is just shorter.

- I went to a Demi Lovato concert last night. I know, I know, kid music. Pop. Everything I don't listen to. But I didn't really go for me, see, my brother is convinced that he's going to marry Demi someday since she is his age and all. So we went to the state fair and I took him to the Demi concert. We had pretty good seats right up by the front, so that was fun. I mean, concerts are fun no matter who they are, right? I did like it and my brother says he'll send me her songs for Zunii. I hope he remembers to do that...

I told you I haven't been up to much, and I really was telling the truth...but I guess that's just how summer is sometimes. Soon enough, fall will come, and then winter. Well, no, I take that back. The days until September 8th seem to be dragging. So it's not soon, but fall will come eventually. haha

Well, anyway, I've rambled too long for now.

Here's to Peace, Love & Rubik's Cubes That Look Like Daisies
~Lola

Gardening

"If friends were flowers, I'd pick you."

An anonymous person said that. It's a cute phrase. But the problem with friends is that sometimes you don't quite know what you're picking.

Some people are like wildflowers - you pick them and the next day they're dead. Now you're friends won't be dead the day after you meet them (I seriously hope) but soon they'll simply lose interest in you and move on to the next new person.

Some people are like dandelions - they're nice for a while, but when the wind blows, they'll be gone leaving you to go through the hard times on your own.

Some people are like thistles - they'll be your friend, but rest assured you'll never be able to be very close with them. They intend to keep everyone at a distance, whether or not they're aware of it.

Some people are like roses - they may seem wonderful, but they'll hurt you without a backward glance. Because they were such good friends before, many times you may try again, but every time without fail, you'll be caught on a thorn.

The flower garden may sound like a scary place to have to pick from, but there's one breed of flower to look for - the daisies. They're not all that rare, but quite often unnoticed. They may not look like much at first glance, but they're the best friends you can find. They'll stick with you when the going gets rough and they'll last alot longer than other types of friends.

So be careful not to overlook the daisies - they tend to make the most beautiful bouquets!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm guessing you're probably wondering what this blog post has to actually do with my blog. Fact is, it really has nothing to do with it. I found this whole thing typed up in Microsoft Word from a few months ago and felt like posting it up here. I guess there's really nothing better I could've posted today since there's really nothing interesting going on in my life. Just working on my sewing project. Off and on I've been practicing my piano, but the only thing coming to mind to play is "Fuzzy Blue Lights" and it's already stuck deep enough in my head so it's the last thing I want to play. I'd find something fun about Relient K to ramble about on here, but lately I've just not been that into them for some reason, so that's not an option. So that's why I chose gardening. Maybe it helped someone; maybe it didn't; maybe I'm just a bit out of it today.

Here's to Peace, Love & Flowers
~Lola

It's Like Letting Go Against My Will...

I woke up today wishing I was someone else. Someone with sandy blond hair and eyes that waver between brownish-gray and blue. Someone who talks with an accent and a different sense of humor. Someone who is my best friend's best friend.

For the past few month I've slowly watched my best friend be stolen away by this person. I've never personally talked to them and I'm sure s/he's very nice and isn't intentionally doing this, but it's happening none the less.

What used to be a promise of "best friends for life" has deteriorated to sharing the leftover time when I'm the only person still around. I love my friend more than I can say, but it's slowly becoming clear that they don't exactly care. I guess that's what this all comes down to - I've never had anybody tell me that they care, that I'm their very best friend, that they'll always be there for me. I would give anything for someone like that who won't let me down...

Here's to Peace, Love & Trying To Sleep When The Pillow's Too Wet.
~ Lola

P.S. I recently discovered that more people read this blog than I thought (thanks, everybody). So, to my best friend who now reads this, I'm sorry if writing this hurt you. I'm sorry I'm so selfish. Please don't be mad, but it's the only way I know how to tell you what I feel.

The One Thing Everybody Needs

I saw a commercial today for Mighty Mend. Billy Mays was forcefully telling me that Mighty Mend, a fabric glue said to withhold up to 100 MPH wind speeds, was the one item everybody needs. Unconvinced, I changed the channel to Good Eats - a little less loud and a little more beneficial to knowledge. But what the obnoxious spokesperson said got me thinking. What really is the one thing everybody needs? If you ask a salesman, he will say his product, whatever it may be. If you ask an atheist, he will say oxygen. If you ask a Christian, he will say God.

Now, don't get me wrong, God is definitely what everybody needs, but God isn't necessarily a thing (He is a person and a supernatural being, to be exact)

The one thing that every person in the world needs is love. It's what keeps families from falling apart during the hard times. It's what makes friends never forget eachother. It's what makes the unnoticed act out. It's what makes a society survive.

There are so many different kinds of love that it's hard to narrow it down to just one. There's the love that God feels for us, that so often is taken for granted. There's the love of a parent to a child and the reciprocated love from the child to the parent. There's the love of two people who were made for eachother. And there's the love between friends who care more for eachother than often is said.

I want to write about the last kind because so often it goes unnoticed and so often it's what is needed most. When something goes wrong in life, many times things could be so much better if we were reminded by someone that we do mean something. That there is another person in our life who cares about us. Things could be so much better with nothing more than a hug in the hallway or a reminder that they're thinking of you. So many times people are too shy or too busy to remember, but to someone, one small action could brighten a rainy day. I know I've felt that way so many times.

So don't be afraid to show someone the one thing that everybody needs today. And no, I don't mean Mighty Mend.

Here's To Peace, Love, & Being Sure You Show It
~ Lola