Finally Getting Back

It's been over a week since I got back from Wyoming, and I haven't really been the same since the trip. But today, I think I'm finally getting back to my old routines. FiveScore and Seven Years Ago is back on shuffle, I actually woke up instead of sleeping until 9:00, I feel like maybe I'm alive again instead of just making it from morning to night. Funny, I finally get back into routine the day before I leave again. But this trip won't change me. Much. If it does, I'll just come back even more of a fangirl, which isn't all too bad. For me.

I looked back this morning and wondered what exactly brought about the sudden change back. I didn't look for long until I found the reason. For about a week before my trip (until apparently a week after) I've been spending the last five minutes of each day praying. My prayers usually included a request for forgiveness, thanking God for my family and my friends, and then I'd drift off to dreams. Last night I stopped and realized just how far away from God that really had made me. So last night I did something different. I spent over thirty minutes in prayer as opposed to five. And today, I finally feel alive again.

If you've been following my logic, you may come to the conclusion that prayer is what makes me a fangirl. That's not exactly the direction I was trying to go with this. I think what I'm trying to say by all this is that when I'm closer to God, I'm closer to being myself. I'm closer to being a happy, somewhat cynical, but mostly happy individual.

So anyone out there who's just not quite feeling like yourself, maybe all you need is some extra time alone with God. Who knows, the next day you could wake up more alive too!

Here's to Peace, Love & Getting Back,

~Lola

The Goldfish Technique

I went to the doctor's office recently. In the waiting room they had one of those big aquariums with two goldfish and some of those scarily strange white frogs in it. Their little red eyes glow and they look dead until they move...

But anyway, this isn't about the unnatural amphibians. This is about the goldfish. Did you ever notice how they're constantly opening and closing their mouths even when they aren't moving anywhere? It makes them look as if they're perpetually at a loss for words. They look silly as they stare at you, mouths opening in a timed pattern. But they're alive, aren't they? Unless they opened their mouths to inhale water, they wouldn't be able to get oxygen through their gills. I have a theory that many of the goldfish who end up floating above the water were only trying to be cooler than the rest.

Sometimes I think we're like that. We don't want to be any different or look silly in front of anybody; we end up dragging ourselves through a boring day-to-day existence - dead to what's known as really living. We need to breathe constantly, no matter how retarded we look while we do it. We need to do the unexpected, make life interesting, wake up the adventure that's asleep in all of us. That way we'll stay alive - really alive.

I believe the nurse thought I was rather insane as I was thinking all of this, smiling widely at the small fish across the glass. But now you know what goes through my mind in the doctor's waiting room.

Of course, all of this is highly suspect. The reason the goldfish die could be because the undead frogs sucked out their life juices while they slept.

Here's To Peace, Love & Aquariums
~ Lola